Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Confucius

Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.
Phyllis Thoroux, Night Lights

I’ve said it before. And I’ll say it again. I H A T E my course. 
Flunked my first accounting departmental exam. T.T
I’m still trying to get back on my feet. It may not seem like much of a big deal but maaaaan. I dunno :/
As much as I try to focus my attention on my studies, I find myself so preoocupied with something else. Like now, I’m supposed to be studying for my envisci exam. But what the heck am I doing here?
I’m trying to rearrange myself. My thoughts. My unsettled mind. My unbalanced life. But I do not know where and how to start.
Hindi lang naman sa dahil binagsak ko exam ko kanina, pero ewan… parang gusto ko na mag suicide.
I thought I was good enough. I thought I was nice enough. Been there, done that. And as always, I was wrong.
It wasn’t easy you know. My life is very frustrating.
I always worry about myself and everything. Now I realized I have taken for granted thousands of small things that each of us needed. The small stuff that we never really thought existed until we needed them.
Like most people, I just want to be happy, all the while trying to carry the load of my shoulders, and whatever life tries to throw upon me. The every day and practical stuff that we had to go through, and even the small stuff can kick us out of balance.

A happy life. Can it really be achieved?
I want to try something new. I want to shift to a new course but I guess my parents won’t let me. I want to have some space, some peace and quiet. To live a life as it should be, on my own.
Hmmm. I think the best thing I can do now is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
And yeah, pray a lot.

Labels: college, life, personal

im going to watch the premier later with lay. and i think with marie and rj too?
punta na kami maya maya tambay muna starbucks.

anyway, dont get excited. im not planning to post anything about the movie here.
but if there's something you are burning to know, feel free to comment here. :P
im a spoiler junkie myself so i wont judge. i would however prefer to answer specific questions like, did Bella look shit? haha.

or you can wait one more day.... hahaha.

anyway, im going thru what the fuckness. so, bye for now. i'll update again after my exams.
mwaaaa.

Ever get the feeling that you can hardly breathe? suffocating?
yeah, that's exactly how i feel right now. i dunno.
maybe because i'm tired of my course?

two months back, i remember totally bitching about my course to my mum, to anyone and everyone who would care to listen. simply because i think that there's no future for me there.
i cut classes and go lakwatsa lang. pero kahit ganun, i have indeed been lucky. sbi nila paburger daw kasi candidate pa para sa dean's list. hahaha. well, di ko sinasadya yun. juk
lang.

but you know what, at this point, i still haven't figured out if this is what i really want to do.
i want to grow. because i don't think i've bitten off more than i chew.
second sem na. pero nagcut nanaman ako. :(
ang labo. sometimes naman i think that my course is nice naman and the job i might have is good for me.
well, i guess im just afraid of the long hours, days, months and years of studying that i'll have to put up with.
there will still be a lot of getting used to and I can only hope that I'll able to adjust to it well.

tadtad nanaman ng exam next week. tapos di pa ako makakanuod kaagad ng twilight kasi departmental ko sa accounting kinabukasan.

gusto ko magaral simula bukas. pero nakakatamad.

i'll surely get a crappy grades this sem dahil sa ugali kong pag cut at katamaran but nonetheless my gut tells me its a good move to change my attitude now.
i only hope that my stomach and my brain cells can hold me together.
yesss maaaaan. i love studying. bwahahaha
and now i've come to accept that I can either get what I want or die trying.

Its now or never.

Anyway there. I'm tired na so i'll stop blogging. Came from my schoool, and gonna get ready for justin and kamil's birthday parteeeey.

things to do: (weekends)

econ: study chapter 1 and 2 (quiz on monday)
envi sci: study chapter 1 and 2 (quiz on monday) , print lectures, plan for the documentary film
theo: read pages 1 to 12, (recitation on monday)
filipino: look for tagalog articles about the economy, study (quiz on monday)
math: answer all the remaining exercises, study (quiz on friday)
accounting: answer chapter 2 and 3, read chapter 4, STUDY CHAPTER 1 AND 2! DEPARTMENTAL EXAM ON THURSDAY!!
psychology: read chapters 1 to 3 (recitation on tuesday) , answer questions about the film, study chapters1 to 3 (quiz on thursday)
english: answer all the exercises, topic for my paper.


Party muna sa taft bago yan. Wahahaha.
i'm supposed to be writing about current affairs (college week, chris brown, bazaar, seminars) but the only current crap i know right now is my crappy life.
ugh. i miss my highschool friends. not kim. lol.

yeahh i know i have not been keen about my usual posts as i've been busy with college stuff.
my brain is in a muddle between mathematics of investment, writing class and accounting. fuck them.

and yeah, i think this week won't seem to be working out well as i'd hope since i've been pretty cranky at everyone and everything. i still have loads of school stuff to do. i've been forgetting to do things left and right. sayang ang mga post it notes ko. and yeah. master procrastinator, i haven't been sleeping well at all because so many things are running in my head. damn it. it's our college week. thanks to my being a lazy ass.

it's raining now my dear.
and yeahhhhhh... things also, have been quite unpredictable lately and it's a bit scary...

life is so weird. and funny. lol.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.
Confucius

Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom.
Phyllis Thoroux, Night Lights

I’ve said it before. And I’ll say it again. I H A T E my course. 
Flunked my first accounting departmental exam. T.T
I’m still trying to get back on my feet. It may not seem like much of a big deal but maaaaan. I dunno :/
As much as I try to focus my attention on my studies, I find myself so preoocupied with something else. Like now, I’m supposed to be studying for my envisci exam. But what the heck am I doing here?
I’m trying to rearrange myself. My thoughts. My unsettled mind. My unbalanced life. But I do not know where and how to start.
Hindi lang naman sa dahil binagsak ko exam ko kanina, pero ewan… parang gusto ko na mag suicide.
I thought I was good enough. I thought I was nice enough. Been there, done that. And as always, I was wrong.
It wasn’t easy you know. My life is very frustrating.
I always worry about myself and everything. Now I realized I have taken for granted thousands of small things that each of us needed. The small stuff that we never really thought existed until we needed them.
Like most people, I just want to be happy, all the while trying to carry the load of my shoulders, and whatever life tries to throw upon me. The every day and practical stuff that we had to go through, and even the small stuff can kick us out of balance.

A happy life. Can it really be achieved?
I want to try something new. I want to shift to a new course but I guess my parents won’t let me. I want to have some space, some peace and quiet. To live a life as it should be, on my own.
Hmmm. I think the best thing I can do now is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
And yeah, pray a lot.

Labels: college, life, personal